Spider!Denmark x Reader ~ Spidey Senses

You unleashed Hanatamago and pat her head fondly. “Good girl! Time to go inside,” you cooed. She barked and climbed up the step to get to the front door, and proceeded to trot around the corner. After the door was opened and the dog was safely inside, you turned to grab the knob and shut the door but something terrifying stopped you.

Someone was screaming bloody murder, as if they were being subjected to the most severe of all torture, and it took you a few moments to realize you were the one screaming. The giant spider crawled off of your foot and onto the carpet, and pattered alongside the wall. There was the sound of heavy steps, frantic movements, and oddly the clatter of something sharp being drug on the floor.

“STEP AWAY FROM THE WOMAN!” Five men rushed into the foyer, their gazes immediately landing on you. Your closest friend Mathias, who’d been the one to shout, had a battle axe slung over his shoulder. That explained the weird dragging noise from seconds earlier.

“_____, are you okay?!” This exclamation came from the shortest of the men, Tino. In his arms was Hanatamago, who barked at you as if to second her owner’s question. The other three: Berwald, Lukas, and Emil, said nothing, just stared at you.

“…” Your voice failed you as you tried to tell them your problem, only a small, trembling squeak escaping your lips. After a couple more tries you gave up and pointed towards the floor, where the enormous spider was lazily starting to scale the wall.

Mathias hurried over and turned his ocean eyes to the floor. As soon as he spotted the source of your distress, he clapped a hand over his mouth, doing his best not to burst out laughing. Your eyes welled with unshed tears as you scampered back to cower behind Berwald, comforted by his large stature. Lukas placed a hand on your shoulder and Emil awkwardly pat your head.

“This is what freaked you out so badly?” Mathias chuckled some more. He knelt and snatched a nearby towel that the six of the household usually used to wipe Hanatamago’s feet after she’d come in from a rainstorm. “Come here little spidey…”

Inwardly, you cringed. What on earth was little about that beast that had crept over your poor foot? Mathias lunged for the arachnid with the towel outstretched, ready to capture the animal. He’d underestimated the spider, as it easily scuttled out of the way and up the wall faster than you’d thought it was capable of.

Your poor Danish friend had ended up bashing his  head into the wall, and now his normally spikey blonde hair lay flat against his forehead. He uttered a few swear words under his breath before standing, determined to crush the fiend.

Mathias jumped in an attempt to reach the climbing aphid, but fell short; his boots made a heavy impact against the floor, and a booming wave echoed throughout the room. Berwald stepped forward, and you let out a small whine of protest. Who was going to be your shield from the spider now?

The tall Swede calmly took the towel from the Dane and reached his arm up to hover over the taunting pest. With one swift movement, he’d enclosed it in the blue fabric and silently moved to the door. He threw the towel outside and the door closed with a soft click.

“W-Why didn’t you kill it!?” You asked, dumbfounded that Berwald had easily taken care of the threat. He hadn’t even injured the intruder, and it had only taken him one try too… Said man grunted in your general direction before taking Hana from Tino and walking away, presumably to the kitchen. Emil sighed through his nose before following suit.

Lukas removed his hand from your shoulder and sent a glare Mathias’s way. “He certainly put shame to the name of Vikings everywhere,” he said quietly before he left. Now that you were left alone with your best friend, (and object of your affections, but he didn’t know that), you walked forward and poked the hair plastered to his forehead.

His eyes snapped up to meet your own, their cerulean depths dazed, as if he had no understanding of what had just happened. “Mathias, uh… thank you for trying to help.” He flinched, and seemed to snap out of his stupor.

“What are you talking about? The King of Northern Europe saved the day: he vanquished the mighty dragon!” You stifled a giggle behind your fist, and reached down to help him up. Now standing, he towered over you.

“Actually, you crazy Dane, Ber took care of the spider. Yes, it was a spider, not a dragon.” He visibly deflated when you explained what had happened to him, but bounced back from it almost immediately. Mathias slung his arm over your shoulder and steered you towards the kitchen where the others resided.

“Say, why did you freak out so badly anyways? It was just a spider,” you felt the telltale burning sensation of a blush coming on, and awkwardly shook your head.

“I hate spiders,” you said matter-of-factly, as if that explained everything. “Besides, it was HUGE!” Here you spread your arms out wide to enunciate just how large the spider had seemed to you. The Danish man walking beside you smiled fondly at your antics, and tightened his arm around you.

Sometimes the strange things you feared or talked about made you all the more endearing to him.

~ ONE WEEK LATER ~

You were curled up on the couch with one of your favorite books, a blanket strewn over your lap to help ward of the evening chill. Berwald and Tino were stationed in front of the fireplace, the latter talking quietly while the taller man pet Hanatamago. Lukas and Emil were nowhere to be found, but one could guess that they were most likely arguing over the ‘big brother’ issue once again.

Suddenly, the front door was thrown open, letting in two things. The first was a freezing gust of wind, and the second was a very drunk Dane. “Helllllooooooooo…” he slurred, awkwardly flopping down next to you on the couch.  His breath was strong with the scent of beer, and you leaned away, still intent on reading your book.

“Whose turn is it, guys?” You asked the two sitting on the floor. When they both pointedly stared in your direction, and then at the drunkard who was now trying to put his head in your lap, you sighed and stood. You easily grasped Mathias’ ear with two fingers and tugged, coaxing him into following you up the stairs. He tripped at the top, but you managed to catch him. Barely.

“Up to beddy-bye,” you told him, trying to shove him into his own room. He slumped over on to the floor, and you shrugged. “Okay, but if you wake up sore tomorrow, it isn’t my fault!” His head jerked up at the sound of your voice retreating, and he stumbled to stand. When he’d been drinking, he basically acted like a giant, clumsy baby.

“Wait!” He blubbered, managing to catch your shirt tail. You turned to face him and laughed when he just stared at you, his ocean eyes glazing over. You gently pried his hand off of your shirt and stepped around him to get to Lukas’ room.

A knock later, the door was opened. Lukas took one (disgusted) look at the tall man in the hallway and nodded to himself, retreating into the recesses of his room to retrieve something. It was common for the Norwegian to make potions for the Danish dunce, as they quickly rendered him unconscious and therefore less of a hassle. Once he’d drank the red liquid, he would  be in dreamland, and then would no longer be a problem.

Lukas, who was already tired out from trying to get Emil to say big brother, stopped at a shelf in the back of his room. Tiredly he grabbed for the potion, not realizing that he’d managed to grasp the wrong one. He offered it to you at the doorway, accepted your thanks, and then turned in for the night.

The blue liquid was consumed by the Dane, who come morning, wouldn’t be quite the same anymore.

~ THE NEXT MORNING ~

Mathias liked the mornings. They were lively, at least for him, and more often than not, your face was the first thing he got to see in the morning. Your rooms were across from each other, after all. He would stretch his limbs and spring up, ready to go downstairs and liven up breakfast.

Today was like all the others. The Danish man stood, and immediately noticed something was off. Since when did he have eight legs instead of two? He scuttled to the edge of the bed, and stopped in his tracks. Holy crap, that was a long ways down!

At least now the mirror was in sight, and he had the perfect view of what he now looked like. He uttered swears under his breath and groaned. He was a garish looking spider… that much was for sure. He’d retained his spikey hair, which didn’t exactly flatter his arachnid form.

In addition to the blonde spikes, his back was emblazoned with what looked like his nationality’s flag: a mess of red and white. Eight unattractive, spindly legs came from his main body, and all in all, he didn’t strike a dashing figure anymore.

“Oh god, _____ is gonna flip,” he blinked his (many) spidey eyes and started crawling off of his bedspread. He was even bigger than the spider that had given his shorter female friend a huge scare the previous day. Ah, well. She still had to be the first thing he saw in the morning, right?

Nearly fifteen minutes later, Mathias was greeted by your face. Your terrified, freaked out face, that is. “GUYS!” You yelled, backing away as the enormous spider crawled in your direction. “GUYS?! HELP ME.” You turned to sprint towards the door, but the spider was faster. In a few seconds he was suspended from the ceiling and dangling in front of your face.

You shrieked and back pedaled frantically. Mathias chose the present to speak up. “HEY _____, wait, stop flipping out for a second here, alright?” You froze and met his … many eyes. Why the heck did that aphid sound like your best friend?

“Mathias, this isn’t funny… get in here and kill this thing already!” Frustrated, said ‘thing’ swung from his thread until he landed on your shoulder. You were really starting to panic now.

“Getitoffgetitoffgetitoffgetitoff!”

Lukas and Emil stumbled into the room, both of them still in their pajamas. “You know _____, I’m usually woken up by the idiot, not you.” The former said. His navy eyes picked out the creature on your shoulder and then looked at your petrified expression.

“You have bad luck,” Emil said calmly, moving forward with his hands cupped. “This brute is even bigger than the one from yesterday.”

On your shoulder, Mathias grew more and more annoyed. When Emil was ready, his cupped hands hovering over your shoulder, the spider yelled, “knock it off already! It’s me, MATHIAS. _____, I’ve been your best bud since grade school, and if you all end up killing me I’m going to murder you all with my axe!”

The three humans froze and peered at the beast on _____’s body. Now that they looked a little closer, it did look a little like their Dane. “It’s certainly ugly enough to be him,” Lukas offered blankly.

“Hey!” Mathias protested weakly, waving one of his legs in the Norwegian’s direction. “I bet this is all your fault anyways. How’d you do this?” Lukas thought back to the night previous, and remembered something.

“_____, what color was the potion – ”

“It was blue,” you recalled. “Hey, isn’t it usually red?” And there was the main issue. Lukas had accidentally given Matt the wrong thing. He did like to practice magic, after all, so maybe this wasn’t so far-fetched.

“Well then, turn me back!” The Dane demanded, quickly becoming frustrated with his current predicament. To be an animal was bad enough, but to be a spider, which you feared… he hated it. He hated it when you were afraid.

Lukas looked down at him and tilted his head. “It’s going to take me a while to come up with the antidote,” he warned before leaving. Emil followed after, though it was doubtful he’d help his big brother.

You shakily turned to regard the spider on your shoulder, and he blinked again. Suppressing a shudder, you smiled down at him. “Berwald mentioned yesterday that there are some flies in the foyer lately, you wanna go get rid of them?”

****HOURS LATER****

“I’ve got it!” You screamed as you swung the (f/c) fly swatter through the air. The poor insect fell to the floor, and you grinned triumphantly at Mathias, who was busy making a web in the corner. “If only fly swatting was in the Olympics, huh?” You mussed, throwing the deceased fly out the door.

“Done!” Mathias said proudly, taking his web with him as he climbed the wall. “Watch this; we’ll see who the better fly destroyer is!” He swung from a beam going across the ceiling, catching unaware flies in the sticky web as he went. “Check and mate!” He called to you.

“Mathias, you don’t even play chess…” You shook your head as he crowed, and then opened the door for him so that he could throw the flies outside. He was nearly out the door when a mass of black overtook him and came in your direction. With wide eyes you scrambled out of the way.

“It’s the spider from yesterday!” Mathias warned you, discarding his bag of flies to intercept the other arachnid. “Are spiders territorial or something?” The Dane barely avoided a jab from the outsider, and rammed his spidey head into the other’s abdomen. You stared, bewildered.

Mathias ended up next to you, seemingly out of breath. “How can something so fat be so fast? He’s like Alfred…” You managed to snag Matt as the other spider crawled towards him. You poked his back in reprimand, and sidestepped the angry spider below.

“That wasn’t very nice!” You chided, squealing instead of scolding when the black aphid tried to catch your foot. What you were really waiting for was Berwald to come in with a towel and throw the angered beast outside again, but the lofty Swede didn’t seem to be in the vicinity.

You tripped over a charcoal colored boot that had been left in the entryway and crashed to the ground. “Mathias!” You cried. “I told you to pick your shoes up last week!” You clutched the boot to your chest as Mathias scuttled down from your shoulder and on to the floor.

He charged at the other spider, and thanks to his size basically bowled it over. Dazed, it tried to stand, but Mathias knocked it over again. “Just stomp it already!” He called to you.

Hesitantly, you raised your ‘weapon’ over the arachnid, but lowered it to your side almost immediately. You weren’t so scared anymore… not after hanging out with a spiderified Dane. How could you kill the spider in front of you now, knowing that not all of them were malicious and well, creepy?

The boot dropped to the floor, and the spider succeeded in staggering upright. Instead of going for you or Mathias again it took off for the hallway. It was stopped by an impenetrable force: Berwald. With a towel in one hand he again scooped it up and opened the door behind you. In a fluid motion he tossed it outside and closed the door firmly.

He then turned his intimidating gaze on to you, where it then traveled down to Mathias, who was cowering under your knee. “No, this one is Mathias,” you said uncomfortably, carefully lowering your hand so that he could crawl onto your fingers. “See, friendly, and still spikey!”

Berwald grunted in agreement before motioning to the stairs with his head. “Lukas,” he said. He wasn’t exactly talkative, but his explanation was understandable. You placed Mathias on your shoulder and made your way up to Lukas’s lair room.
Before your fist could knock on the wood, a gloved hand snatched your own and tugged you inside. You would never understand the fetish the people you lived with seemed to share: the majority of them always wore gloves.

“It took me a while, but I think I’ve got it. And although I’d rather keep him as a spider and crush him later, I guess we can turn him back,” Lukas said, ignoring Mathias’ many eyed glower. The Norwegian held out a vial of purple liquid, and you took it gratefully.
“Alright Matt, bottoms up!” Before he could protest, you uncorked the glass container and tipped it towards his face. The liquid disappeared and the spider on your shoulder began to glow. Emil came up from behind you and placed Mathias on the floor, which you would later be very thankful for.

There was a small explosion and thick, white smoke filled the room. You coughed and waved it away from your face, opening your (e/c) eyes to meet two familiar seas of blue. “_____!” You’d never been so glad to be on the receiving end of one of Mathias’ bear hugs.
His spikey hair tickled your cheek as he hefted you up and tightened his grip. He probably would’ve whirled you around in excitement had Lukas not shoved you both out the door. “Thanks a lot, Dane,” he glared. “Now I’ve got to clear out all of this smoke.”

Mathias ignored the chill of the shorter man’s stare and ran down the stairs, you still stuck in his grip. He laughed as he slid into the kitchen and deposited you on the floor. “Guys look! I’M BACK!” Tino smiled and gave you a high five. Berwald blinked. You could’ve sworn you’d heard him mutter something along the lines of ‘darn’ but one could never be sure.

Hanatamago barked and licked your cheek, her tail wagging happily. “I know,” you told her fondly. “I’m glad he’s back, too.” Mathias grabbed your hand, (oh, surprise! He was wearing gloves,) and tugged you to your feet. “There’s something we should check out,” he said, pulling you out of the room.

Minutes later the two of you were outside, a scarf shared between you. Mathias bent over, forcing you to crouch as well. “It’s gotta be here somewhere,” he muttered, surging forwards. You followed him as he scanned the ground, one of his gloved hands clutching yours. The warmth felt nice, as the air outside the house was bitingly chilly.

“AHA!” You jumped at the exclamation. Mathias untangled his fingers from yours and tilted your face towards the ground. “We should really thank him, don’t cha think?” On the ground in front of you was the spider that had basically caused a whole bunch of trouble.
You bent down with Mathias and met his gaze. “Thank him?” You asked, still a little confused. The Dane next to you laughed at your adorably questioning expression and tugged on the scarf to bring you a little closer.

“Well, yeah!” His tone held no room for doubt. “He talked to me and kind of helped clear some stuff up.” His face was inches from yours now, and you felt your cheeks warm considerably. “He’s pretty smart, for a spider. When you didn’t stomp on him he helped me realize something…”

When had he gotten so close?! Your noses were touching now, and his hand came to rest on the back of your neck. “So we should thank him, because he helped me realize that I need to say  … jeg elsker dig.”

And then there were no more words.

He pressed his lips to yours, his eyes closing and the hand on your neck traveling upwards to tangle in your hair. You leaned in, face still aflame, and let your hand travel upwards to feel his spikey hair. You were on your tiptoes to reach as Mathias straightened his back, and his other arm came around to rest around your waist.

The need for air split you apart, and you panted, your breath visible in the cool air. “Thank you,” you called down to the black spider that was waiting patiently on the pavement. Said spider darted away shortly afterwards, and you smiled up at your Dane.
“Glad I helped you get over that fear,” he said proudly, leaning downwards to rest his forehead against yours. By god, your cheeks were probably still a fiery red, but you smiled at him anyways.

That evening was one of the best you’ve ever had. Sure, Mathias embarrassed you greatly by kissing you in front of the others, but they accepted it happily. A fly buzzed overhead, and the Danish man next to you gleefully jumped for it. “My spidey senses are tingling!” He cheered. You rolled your eyes as he successfully captured the fly and put it outside.

He was dorky, he was strange, and he may have once briefly been a spider… but you wouldn’t have him any other way.